my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dick very happy bro
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize