mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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