once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
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You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
soo... how was my night?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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