am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
