i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
