was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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