the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
