Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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