You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
