There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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