so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
