My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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