He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
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No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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