hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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