I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
