all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
