How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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