he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
