Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
