Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
