you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
