She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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