I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
