R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize