i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
