Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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