Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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