She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
