I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize