I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
