I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
