Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
