i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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