on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
