we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
