How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Randomize
