i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
