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• (773): View more from Illinois

  yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  you also need to get my treadmill fixed.

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• (585): View more from New York

  You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler

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• (406): View more from Montana

  The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail

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• (352): View more from Florida

  WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night

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