dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
MIDGETS
????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize