Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i already hear my dad disowning me
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
