its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
