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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
