yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
