there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize