I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
