I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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