you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize