Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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