My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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