smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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