I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
