He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
