I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize