Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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