Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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