i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
All the doctor said was why
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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