i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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