There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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