Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
