if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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