Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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