Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
and she was petting her beer can
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
