I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
