Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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