u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
