I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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