I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
