please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
