Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
