Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
