i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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