Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
