He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
